to be honest by about 8pm, i didnt feel too bad! but i felt like hadnt had enough sleep.
i felt just... meh. kinda think.
i been forcing myself to stay awake cause i missed my whole day.
and when i woke up it just felt like someone had snapped their fingers at 12am and then suddenly it was 5pm the next day! not like i had actually been to sleep.
so really i only got up 7 hours ago, thats not a day!! I know that to get better i ought to do what my pdoc said and now i should take 600mg,
But i dont want 'getting better,' just meaning i am asleep so much i dont have time to do anything let alone be manic or depressed, and other than that just go to work.
i dont know whether it is normal to ask for time off work while i get used to this... what if this is how the meds will affect me forever and thats good to the pdocs point of view cause i will never be manic again and never hear the voices.
am i asking too much to want to be able to have a life again?
so really i dont know what to do, the crisis line in my area stops at 11pm,so i have no one to call and no one to turn to except u guys.
if u have read my post a few days ago, called 'absolutely terrified,'well anyway in relation to that, me and My best friend Robert have been to the pub (i didnt drink) and he met Adam the guy he fancies, and RObert has decided he is staying at Adams tonight, so i have just came home on my own, and i cant help it, but its so horrible, i cant even describe it.. It feels like he is my HUSBAND and i know he is cheating, even tho, we are in the end, best friends, and i am not 'in love,' with him, i feel like we are brother and sister... but its affecting me so bad, to the point i dont even think i am bipolar, i think i am borderline, or both!!
sorry for the ramble, just have NO ONE to turn to and i am feeling sorry for myself and confused.
one good thing, is my appetite has severely DECREASED! i was scared that one seroquel tablet and that would be it, i wouldnt stop eating!! haha