She (T) called me today regarding the voicemail I left her yesterday. I am unimpressed. Very not happy. She said she MIGHT be able to see me next week but also said it might be the week after that too.

Oh yeah, 'cause leaving the person who is triggering herself to her own devices is a smart idea. No, I'm not going to do anything bad or stupid, but frig. I decide to try to trust her and now she might not be able to see me for longer than I expected.

Oh, and she said we "might" discuss the continuation of this next time, MIGHT. I could swear that therapy was for me and I'm the one who controls the topic of discussion. Yeah, I'm stubborn how did you guess?!?

I knew talking about this would ruin me, I knew it. Scuse me, I'm going to go sit in my corner now again and be agitated. Angry? Some emotion like that.

I really do know she has good intentions and my best interests in mind most of the time, but telling me that she may not be able to see me next week after she TOLD ME this week that she would does not make for a happy Christina.

Oh T, I do like you but honestly blargh.

(And yours truly is trying to do the meditative/visualization exercises in my mind and they're totally useless. I think I need something more concrete to center myself. Oh, and to make matters worse Im triggering myself almost purposefully, which is not helping trying to calm myself down.)

Yes, I'm a very ridiculous woman and my own worst enemy most of the time.