Hey tennisgrl
I've had my fair share of experiences with depression, so I can definitely relate to and understand what you're going through. Depression isn't an easy thing to deal with, and it can often feel like we have to fake our happiness and pretend like we're okay. But sometimes I think that the people in our lives who really care about us would prefer we be honest with them.
Maybe there is someone in your life who you could confide in about how you're feeling. I know it sounds like a scary thing, but it can really help if you have someone on your side who knows what you're going through and is there to support you. I know it's what helped me most.
Just know that you're not alone, there are a lot of other people going through the same thing. Try to stay hopeful, there are always better days in your future.