((((_sky))))

Maybe I didn'd express my opinion on the best way...
Just think we can recognize situations, places, people we feel bed in, on or with.

I spent about 5 years in deep depression (with very few episodes of normal condition), without any medical help. Firts I didn't know it is depression. Then i didn't know how to get any help.

I stopped my education (university), I broke my long relationship (He did it, in fact), I wasn't able to keep any job...I was feeling empty and "beyond depression"...I was sure I couldn't feel nothing but - nothing.

Empty, dead, stucked, alone, eating too much or not eating nothing at all for all day long...

I know how you feel. And I am sorry for that, knowing how hard it is.

After terrible panick attacks I had, after some books I read about, I understand that I am not just ill....I accepted the fact that there must be a trigger (or more) for my condition. There must be a reason..

I find the last drop of energy to cope with. Every day is a big battle for me. I introspect myself and it is very painfull, especially when some facts are obvious and related to people I love very much.

I recognised a lot of things which made me disapointed and depressed, even autodestructive...Things which were so painfull that I couldn't even remember easy....I realised that I am alone and that, if want to live, I must fight.

I must survive cause I have my 11 months old baby boy and he need me. He gave me the strenght I need to fight. I was depressd during my pregnancy and have havy episode of postpartum depression...And after panick attacks I became aware that my baby will suffer with me and that I have to find way to cure myself, for sake of him, for sake of his wealth.

I know that finding motivation is the harder part..Being alive and feel hopeles, like dead...it's terrible. But please, try...I am sure you can find the reasons...identify problems...it will not cure you but it will help, it can open you an other door, show you other ways.

If there is any way I can help you - please mail me.

Take care

Alexandra