Had similar problem, family members were often the ones to set me off. Took me two years to finally talk to them and get through to them what my problem was. It made things better, not perfect, dont get me wrong, but a bit better. So i think you do need to talk to your family and somehow get through to them how much pain they are causing you (without it sounding full-out blaming), but only because they are what is mainly causing you problems, not because 'family is vital', friends got me through.
Hope that made sense and helps.
PM me if you need someone to rant at/whatever :-)
J x