It does make sense yes. But I guess here is the place I am at. I am stuck in a position of not knowing what to do. I am sure I am not the only one on here with F*&^% up past family situations, but I will say it is the root to everything. I am now an adult forced to deal with the past, forced to deal with everything that has happened...i.e the abuse. But here is the dilemma, the abuser is not vitally ill and in order to be in full recovery I must face the facts with everything that has happened, forgiveness and such. The abuser is to ill to understand anything that has happened, and in reality is pointless to even confront such an issue. Where to go and what to do is the question. In order to speak to the family (which in everybody else's eyes is perfect) I must confront everybody and everything...With an ill abuser being the problem (and in the family) as well as a family member who was kicked out at an early age and I being the only one who has contact with them...how would anybody go about confronting such a thing.