I'm the daughter of a man who has a reoccurring substance abuse problem - primarily heroin. He has two more children of his own (half siblings to myself) and one stepson. My mother had custody of me. I visited my dad and his family every Sunday. We had a strained relationship. I was his first daughter, and 'daddy's girl' in his eyes. I always knew that he knew, when I told him that I loved him, that it always hurt me. I haven't seen him or my siblings in 5 years, due to him moving to another state and relapsing. We keep sporadic phone contact and he says he's clean, but I always expect him to relapse. I feel really sad when I think of my father. I want a relationship, but I can't admit how sad I am without being scared of losing contact with him. I also suck with admitting that stuff. I like to pretend I'm always okay. I just feel so cheated out of having a father when he is a good man and alive, but just not around.

I understand addiction - I struggled with my own during some time at a young age.

These are tough questions I'm going to ask - and I ask because I'd like to understand, because I've had a tough time with this. For years

I wanted to ask - where does a children's love fit into an addiction? Can a child love you enough to make you stop? If a child loved you enough, would you not leave them? Does a parent think of a child when getting high? If you have any of your own stories about being the child of an addicted parent or addicted person with a child, please share I'd just really like to hear some coping skills or other stories on someone who can relate.