Hello dez sarg,

There is no way on Goddesses green earth that this will make you stronger, that is a BS line from usually the one who cheated.

And don't hate her! I don't believe for a second that "She started it" that is like a schoolyard argument adults don't speak that way, children who have been caught out do. Your anger should be aimed squarely at your husband.

I lived in a cheating marriage for a lot of years, and believe me it doesn't do you any good when you finally do decide to leave. I should have left before we had children, but I didn't. Huge mistake that was, love the kids but life would have been ideal if I had left at 21 with no kids. Please don't make the mistake so many of us have made and regretted later. Counselling by all means, but if it doesn't help, just get out of there and heal, then find a nice man, one who will appreciate you not laugh at you behind your back while he is cheating with someone else. He outright lied to you for what? Over 2 WEEKS? Flatly denying his infidelity and lying not to save you, but to save himself. He is not just a cheater he is a liar too and I would NEVER want to be married to someone like that. How do you expect to ever again feel comfy about him going to work? And misdirecting your anger towards her when it should be at him is transference. You put up with this once and it will happen again.