When I was struggling with similar issues, my psychology professor gave me insight that, though it crushed me initially, helped me tremendously in the long run: You will never be able to go back to what life was before. I couldn't believe it at first--what did she mean, I couldn't go back?! My whole life was dedicated to becoming the person I used to be, the person I should have been!
She helped me see that my scars were being used to make me into a different person--not better or worse, just different. The scars and memories would always be there, though the pain would fade. After accepting that I couldn't go back, I stopped hating the new me and started trying to figure out who I am supposed to become. And though it may seem hard to believe--the pain did begin to fade after all. And I now realize that the ways in which I am still scarred enable me to help others in ways I could not have before, so that I feel empowered in spite of my past.
I hope this helps. Good luck as you continue working through your past.
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