I am so glad that I was finally able to share this with someone and they did not think I was just plain out of my mind! I don't really portray a countenance of an angry woman, so I am sure it would freak people out to read something like this.
Of course, I know these things, but sometimes I get that strange feeling that maybe I am just not 'right' in the head or something. Having found this forum to vent, share, listen, etc.....has been so refreshing for me. I now know that I am not alone in this, and that just because you are educated, intelligent, nice, and a Christian does not mean that you are not going to experience emotions like this.
I do NOT like confrontation and shy away from it as much as possible. My T says that I need to work on this. She is not implying that I need to pick a fight when I confront someone, but that I need to stand up for myself and not allow others to intimidate me.
Okay, so T asks me why I cannot accept those as good qualities and stop dwelling on all the things I am not. This is where that blasted head-knowledge self vs emotional self (one of my other posts). We are not to allow our emotions to overpower us or dominate our rational thinking, but we need to allow ourselves to experience them when they arise. Learning how to express them and feeling like it is okay is what I am working on.
One more thing that I think about when I get in that weird mood? I wonder what it would feel like to slap the crap out of few people!