Hey Ares,

This post might as well have been mine. I can't tell you how many times I've felt the same exact way. When you're dealing with depression it's easy to want a new start, to be born again without depression, to start over and do life differently.

I feel like this a lot. It gets me down a lot too, especially when I realize that no matter how much I want to, I can't start everything over. I can't change the way my life started. But I try to keep in mind that despite this, I can change where my life ends up.

Sometimes it feels like depression is out of our control, like there's nothing we can to stop it or to cope with it. I know that feeling all too well too. But believe it or not, you can control where your life goes. You might not be able to send depression away with a snap of your fingers, and it might take a lot of work. But you can feel better about yourself and your life over time.

Are you currently in therapy, or have you seen a doctor and talked to them about your depression? It might really help you to have someone to talk to and who encourages you to get better.

You say you don't want to need help, but you still do. There's a stigma about needing help. It's seen as a bad thing sometimes, as if we should be able to handle absolutely everything on our own. But even though that sounds like a much easier life, we simply can't always get through things on our own. Sometimes we need help. And it's taken me a long time to realize it, but now I know that that's okay.

It's okay to need help, and it's okay to seek it. You deserve to feel better, and if getting help is what will make you feel better, then that's what you need to do. I believe in you, and I know you can fight and conquer depression. You just need to believe in yourself.