I've never been at your situation....and I'm truly sorry for what you are going through....
However, I know that this kinda behavior is not permitted at work place at all....and you as his wife have all the rights to tell his boss even!!!!
Just from your post....you blamed yourself a lot....why? you have done nothing wrong....you have to be very proud of yourself and have your head up on the sky....He's the one who has to be embarrassed and ashamed of what he did....and about that woman....how pathetic she is to go after somebody's else husband....I feel sorry for her....
Take it easy and ask your husband to find another job is he can....