Hello, I am sorry. You sound so sad and I get a sense that you feel trapped.

From what you are saying I think it might be better to have counselling on your own.

It sounds like on a deeper lever your needs are not being met, you do not feel valued and his coldness and demands weaken you. I am sure that this is not what you want in your life. I am sorry.

Remeber that you do not have to have sex unless you want to. Maybe - if you enjoy sex with him - say to him that you do not accept this kind of talk and you need touch and closeness, not demands and ordering you about. Then - DO NOT have sex with him until he is being physically close and there is no verbal demand. Be strong and draw your boundary clear.

The fact that he drinks only contributing to the fact that he is distant and emotionally unavailable - can he stop drinking?

Please post whenever you feel like it. We are here for you xxx