I'd really like to thank all of you for your responses. I don't realize if whomever responded realizes how much this means to me. It's been a lifelong struggle of acceptance, along with realizing how much I am like my own father and how addicted I can become - to anything. My Fiance is also overwhelmed with how much I am taking this into my heart. He's glad to finally see me trying to help myself with my internal issues with my father. I love my Dad so much and I'm just like him-but I resent him as well at times. But I'm overcoming this.

Many of my main sadness comes from the fact that my father left with my sister (my brother too, but he was old enough to fend for himself) as well - who was much like my own daughter (we have a 9 year age difference). When we had no communication, I was fearful for her life. I didn't know what situations she would be put into if they became homeless or anything. I'm upset that my relationship with my sister was sacrificed for his drug usage.

But really - YOUR STORIES AND VIEWS HAVE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME. I feel very blessed for your words, and your courageous openness about darker parts of your lives. My thoughts are with all of you and I hope you all find rest in yourselves. You have very deep rooted strengths.