For me rejection is the worst part of APD. Some people can say: " Well if this person doesn't accept me it is her lost not mine." and will keep moving on and even forget about it. But I don't.

I don't want pity here I'm just saying it as it is for me. Rejection always stab me like a sword and it always takes me a long time to recover from it. I never do recover from it completally as it leaves a scar that never do heal.

I can keep on telling myself that I cannot please everyone and some people will not accept me and they will reject me and this happens to everyone and it's ok.

But "it is not ok for me".

I really have to fight with myself to not shut everyone out. To not feel like trash. To not feel I'm not worth it. To not feel I just bother. To not feel that people are rejecting me because I'm only s**t. To not isolate.

Rejection hurt me so much. I know it is because I was rejected as a child. I just can't deal with it. I have such a hard time with this one.