cut myself today. after 20 clean days. just been feeling so empty for so long. and its been growing. felt so hopeless all day. i cant get rid of the hopelessness. every time i try to picture myself in 6 months, a year, all i see is a repetition of the past few years. im sick of it all. sick of myself. i had to do it. nothing else would get rid of the emptiness. i dont know what to do, im so tired of this, its wrong i know but it seems like my only escape. and it feels like nobody listens, like theres no help and it can never be fixed. the 'help' im getting is fixated on getting me on meds when i have issues with med noncompliance. i just feel so sad and hopeless. and i know i'll have to do it again tomorrow just so i can keep the emptiness at bay. meds dont get rid of the emptiness. nothing does. i feel so so hopeless
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