Thanks all. I appreciate it.

I've been talking to someone about it... He's been very accepting, but I am so ashamed. It's so painful for me to talk about and while he says everything is okay, I know it's not. My SI doesn't just hurt me anymore.

In spite of this, I still don't want to stop. I went three months without any cutting and only a few instances of bashing my head against something but I never thought of it as having "quit". Just time off. I didn't "need" it then.

I look at my ugly leg and I see scars. Will that ever be different?