This was only a couple months before diagnosed as bipolar. The med I mention is Celexa that put me into this. It would be another year and four mo ths before Id get the official BP 1 diagnosis.

I can't sleep again. *I feel all geared up I guess.
Agitated. Shaky. Brain doesn't work right. Going too
fast. like nothing will keep my attention and I need
more of it to work. *Its the same as what I sort of
described to you yesterday I guess. *I just had a
thought that maybe its a reaction to them doubling my
brain drugs. *I was remembering that when I first went
on it I felt weird and detached like this. *Racing
thoughts and unstable emotions. *Damn brain drugs. But
anyway- that maybe means i'm not cuckoo- just chemical
pills doing this to me. The ones you said not to
take?! Phooey! (Phooey at having taken them.) *This is
driving me nuts because my brain is on overdrive and
think too much and its all about nothing and
everything and good god I already have a tendancy to
over think everything. lol I couldn't do my judo
correctly this morning. Kept missing "files" on throws
I've done umpteen times before. *(As in... what to do
next... oops! I have no idea!) Last one to catch on to
what we were doing that was new. *I feel like I gotta
do EVERYthing and NOW and run around screaming and
wander the neighborhood at night... BLECH! I am
feeling mostly A-ttached at the moment, so I think
I'll rather stay inside- thank god!- but ...

Maybe Nemo will come snuggle with me. *I just gotta
get some sleep. I'm thinking maybe that's what's been
giving me the vivid dreams, as well, when I finally do
crash. *Then I'm up phoning men at 8 a.m. to join me
for coffee... ;-P *

I gotta stop this racing thoughts- racing trying to
figure the world out in a moment and writing long
emails that say everything and yet nothing at the same
time. *

I feel like nothing will settle my mind. Not something
new on tv, not something old on tv, not a familiar
DVD. *Maybe reading a book would. *

I know this sounds insane but I am not insane. Just on
brain drugs. I suppose I will have to phone and talk
to someone about this as a side effect/reaction. *I am
not sure where that lies metaphysically. *I just want
a hug from you and I know that what I REALLY need is
sleep because that's probably half the problem at this
point.

This is at least a comfort to think that maybe its
these drugs and not ME that's making me feel so awful.