Yo Yack, I can relate. My father was a real abusive booger too. When I was 13, sick with an ulcur, I went to spend the weekend with one of his secretaries who I was friends with, for a change of pace.

I ended up confiding in her about the abuse. Well, Monday night , when daddy dearest came home from work, It was up against the wall for me........ He was beating me for lying to her saying he beat me........ Oh boy, was that a moment for me.
I realized his behavior had nothing to do with me. It wasn't my fault. It was ALL HIM. Though I was still in the situation, I was able to emotionally detach and stop investing in our relationship. I think you are a wonderful person. Hope you and your mom are safe.