I'm sorry too that you've been struggling. What you wrote above was interesting to me. Based on what you said about your parents, I think your therapist is probably right that the way they raised you led you to draw the conclusion that you're worthless. And over time this is probably something you've come to believe at a very core level. I think when we feel worthless, we tend to project that stance/outlook out into the world, such that others can pick up on it. Probably not consciously, but at some level. And that in turn makes it less likely that they will reach out, because they have a harder time seeing you for who you really are (as opposed to the feelings of worthless that you might project).

That you feel ambivalent about whether your parents actions/inactions contributed to you feeling worthless vs. there actually being something bad or wrong with you makes sense too. In the absence of explanation, children are likely to blame themselves for their parents' behaviors because even if it is devastating to think, it provides some sort of organizing framework for understanding why things are the way they are.

I'm not sure if this is necessarily making sense. But I wonder what would happen if you suspended your belief, even as an experiment of sorts, that you are worthless. How would your outlook on the future, your relationships, yourself change?

Wishing you well...