Peaches, you have really come far in therapy since I first started reading your posts here! Your post here summarizes all of the stuff that you have worked through. Very good! (You do have a few new questions, though, also).
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Originally Posted by peaches100
My t has said that my parents way of raising me has led to my bad feelings of being worthless.
But if that's true, then why do others also treat me as though i am not even there? They just don't notice me, or if they do, there must be nothing about me that makes them want to get to know me more or want to be my friend.
This makes me think that i truly am not worth anything, or people would not act that way.
I've always beleived that if I'm a good, kind, interesting person, then people would notice and want to befriend me.
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I did the same thing Peaches. When you are raised being ignored you get used to be ignored and you learn to act in a way that will.... get you ignored. It's like we move just under the radar. Actually, I found that I hated attention and I avoided it and this is what gets you ignored!
When you are sad, and you mention that you feel depressed, it makes you more invisible too.
I learned to act differently after I worked through my issues and it just changed things.
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Originally Posted by peaches100
My t says we are making room for more healthy relationships to come in, people who really support who i am as a person.
But i just don't see that happening for me down the road.
There's nobody beating down the doors to be my friend.
And honestly, the way i've been hurt by my best friends, i don't have much motivation to try making any friends in 3D. My belief in humanity's basic goodness and my trust in others has been damaged by all my bad experiences with relationships.
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Yes, you need to fill this hole now that you have cleared the dysfunctional stuff out. It sounds like you want people to come to you? You are capable of being proactive. There are good people out there. You have just been seeking out the dyfunctional kind for various reasons so this is all that you have experience with. Look beyond these types and you will see!!