Basically agree with both Ryask and sugahorse on this. Personally, I'd be happy to know that someone cares enough to be there on the BP front, explicity stating so (but NOT referring to it as "checking in") and at the same time knowing that it's perfectly to not "go there" or even to respond at all. Because like sugahorse, sometimes (often) I just want space.

That's one reason I so appreciate PC and everyone here. Able to post at need, but also able to not. With complete acceptance of either. I can barely conceive of such a thing IRL.

So... go ahead and mention BP on the initial offer. After that, probably best not to mention it specifically, even through intonation. I've experienced a couple different things, neither satisfactory. After very selective disclosure, one person (though we barely talk) suddenly seemed to bring it up every time we did talk (not specifically saying BP, but the tone made it obvious that was what she was getting at). It made me feel like more an object of pity and suddenly defined by it to them. On the other end where those that expressed acceptance with disclosure, then completely ignored it, never inquiring how I was feeling (about anything).

Long and short, yes on the initial offer. That way, they know it is ok to go into the BP stuff if they want. After that, just very casually inquiring how they are feeling --like any friend should-- "how ya doing?" "how's it going for you?" (w/o tone of pity or a kind of "so how are you doing with your BP" approach) would probably be a good balance.