I have trouble with memory as well, short and long term. My childhood and adolesence is more than sketchy also throughout my adult life as well. I understand the need to remember some of these things as for me it was to feel a connection again and to find some sense of grounding and the search for normalcy you describe. Psychotherapy can help to some degree with this but only to some degree. Learning from family is limited because their own memories have their own limitations due to their own views, their take on situations, and gaps in their own memories. No one ever remembers something the same exact way. That's why the same 2 people can see the same crime and have 2 completely different stories/details for the same exact event to tell police. Ever played that game, where everyone is in a circle, you start a sentence or two and then pass it to the next person, and on to the next. By the time it gets to the end, some vague details are there but it changed with each person due to their memory and own take on it.

I have since learned to work with what I have now in my memory and to move forward from here. Whatever happened in the past, normal or not (mostly not) and caused the things in my life to be the way they are, cannot be redone but have made me who I am today, positives and negatives. I have to learn from this point forward always how to cope in the moment despite the past and it's angels and demons.

What you focus on is what becomes important to you. If it is the relationships and connections, therapy can help with this. If it is to rediscover more about your past and you who are, it can help with this too. However even knowing 'why' something happen did not help to fix what was going on in the moment. Sometimes it is beneficial to go back, sometimes it is not. If the need is there, it is worth exploring.