i recently just lost my job due to too many leaves i was in the hospital three times in the past half year for periods of a week and a half. i went to the hospital to get a grasp on my depression and overcome suicidal thoughts. but i didnt give it a chance to help my eating disorder got so much worse in there and i just wanted to go home. now im struggling with depression and the thoughts again and am literally trapped in my house. one of the things that triggers all my problems is my relationship. counslers and health care professionals family friends all agree im not going to get better until i leave him. but im hopeless without him and hopeless with him. i would like to get better and dont know how to go about doing what i need to do. its making my thoughts of self harm more intense and i feel so trapped.