Thanks Kimmy-
hey maybe now I can let out poetry again. That was a huge problem in personal relationships outside of here - having to censor and edit my voices and all the expressions just because some people couldnt tolerate hearing from them.

People would forget them is me is us all at once. People forget too that the things I might show them in my words and pain that scares them is the things and the disorder that was caused by people in the first place. A thing we dont get to shrink from and wander away and avert our eyes. But they make us feel dirty for being the living proof- for surviving and telling and opening our mouth to let words out and nothing in. And there behavior says to us that its too much to ask that we be allowed a place in their communities- not just the charity of understanding but also the validation and actual help of corrective relationships among people.

Even friends would not want to associate with me publically like Im a secret shame to whisper around when I disociate. If Im too tired to work at "passing" and switch a lot thats exactly the time friends are not supposed to abandon you and make you feel like your dirty and not good enough for their polite image.

I dont need friends that cant let me come right on in the front door and cant trust me to be true and faithfull friends.

Theres no community out there that I know about. None brave enough to say we want your contribution and we want to contribute ours. But at least we got one going on in here.
Kathy