Wow. That's exactly what I'm experiencing this evening. My inner states can shift so quickly, and I get lost in them. I was triggered by the PC website. I kept trying to get into a chatroom and had technical problems. Then, it started feeling like everyone here are all best friends, and ancient feelings of being an outsider came over me, wanting to connect, share, say "hello", exchange support, but I felt frozen, afraid. I'd start typing a post in a thread, then quit, feeling suddenly incoherent, inarticulate. I start feeling envy of others' lives. Being envious and comparing makes me feel like such a small person, when I want to be open-hearted and happy for others' good fortune. It's so painful. I want to believe that I can still find love and security in life, and not feel it's too late, I'm too old, etc. etc. Well, at least I know that this mood will eventually give way to another. Nothing is permanent.