I guess by the variety of responses you could easy see that not all BPers are the same - there is no one answer which will fit all BPers. For me, I have had friends that were really caring that didn't "check in" regularly, but were just there when they were there, and others who went out of there way to "check" on me when times were tough. I love them all for the support that they have given me.

It does also depend on what degree of support network they have. If you are it, then maybe you need to be there more than if they have lots of people to lean on.

Take care of yourself, you can be of no help if you are not looking after your own health and sanity also.