You have to relentlessly keep things on you and what you want and your will. If you want the trash to be taken out, you have to take it out since you want it that way; yes, you'd like the other person to "share" the tasks but if you were living alone, you'd have to do everything yourself; get in that mindset and at least half of the things that bug you might go away.

Remind yourself of what you get living with someone (money, food, shelter, clothing, the "comfort" of your regular life you speak of) that would be less than you'd like without them and put up with making dinner for two or washing the extra towel and having things be messier than you'd like.

Every now and then test yourself and give him a friendly pat on the back or ask how he slept, make him his favorite foods for dinner, see if there isn't a spark of sweetness still in the bones of the relationship.