Quote:
Originally Posted by lavieenrose
I'm often wondering, maybe foolishly, what is and is not within my control, as factors in my suffering. There are times when I think that I invent most of my problems through habitual thinking patterns and deeply ingrained negative beliefs about myself and my life, that I'm helpless, hopeless, undeserving of love, money, satisfying work, etc. If I keep repeating these mantras, then I keep getting more scarcity. But, it's enormously hard to change my beliefs after 55 years. BUT then I think, THAT is another story I tell myself. Then, there's the neurochemical component (unchanged by any drug I've tried). I spend way too much time in this unproductive obsessive loop.  |
This is EXACTLY the same thing that I wonder. Over and over again.....It's really good to talk to some older people about this. It definitely makes a difference if you've been thinking a certain way for, let's say, decades....THANK YOU for expressing this so well (((((((lavieenrose)))))
Also, what I find is, that lately, it's not so much my thoughts that are the problem as the way my BODY reacts physically (though, obviously, it's all inter-connected). By that I mean that I often feel extreme "malaise" in my body. And it's that which, in turn, makes me start having anxious thoughts.
It's extremely hard to do certain things if you feel physically unwell. So I go to the doctor, and the doctor runs some basic tests and then tells me it's all "just anxiety". And then I wonder, to what extent is that really true???? And that's another obsessive loop I get stuck in!!!
And, more to the point, what can I do about it?? If your body is causing you problems it's very hard to "think" your way out of it. I mean, just as an example, let's say you have a stomach bug. You can't just tell yourself you're fine and get on with things. But what if the anxiety makes you feel like you have a stomach bug?? In other words, you're so anxious that you feel nauseous and may actually vomit. Even if it's "just anxiety", the physical manifestation is the same as if you had a stomach bug, and there isn't much you can do about it. Or is there?!???!!
I hope that isn't too confusing to follow!!!!