I find myself wishing that I could die. You know?

Like, I am sad that there are wonderful people, with so many happy things happening in their lives...and they're diagnosed with some critical condition, or they die in crashes. Why must it go this way?? It just seems cruel to me.

Why not take me? A couple of people might miss me a little, but there won't be thousands of people in mourning over my death. It sounds like jealousy, as I read this. But that's not how it feels to me. I feel sad. I feel insignificant ~ why can't I go?