Aha, me thinks you have hit the "Self sacrifice sucks" wall.
Comes a point when it's time to put yourself first. I feel ike I didn't know how to take care of myself so I practiced on others. .. . thinking it would come back to me from them. NOT. So, like you I had to decide it was my turn to take care of myself. Let me tell ya, it's a lot harder to take care of me than it was to take care of them.. ... .. no wonder I procrastinated. But, figuring out how to take care of us'ns has been a very good thing. An ongoing thing. Even altered my understanding of what "taking care of" means in the bigger picture...... one step at a time, and, good luck, you deserve all the care you can muster.