Yes, his behavior is abusive.

Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No.../dp/0894864025 and there is a self-help group called Codependents Anonymous (are you in the USA?). The book is available everywhere, including at the library, and it's a quick and easy read. I would suggest you not let him see it. Abusive men feel threatened when their victim tries to get free of their hold. That means if he notices you trying to read up on the topic, he will get apologetic and promise not to talk to you that way anymore...you know the drill! Or, he could blow up in anger and abuse you further.

I believe someone on this message board referred this book to me. It has really helped. But you must take that first step and get some support. Please do. You don't deserve to be treated that way.