I have been told that when I was a child Iwould be sitting on my mom's lap and asking her to get closer. It was impossible for her to be closer to me.

With my husband (who isn't all that affectionate in the first place) I feel like I have to beg to be touched and if conditions aren't allperfect, he won't do it. It used to be that way in the bedroom, but now we don't have that kind of relationship anymore. I feel neglected and seperated.

I wish I could say that I wasin pain and he would respond with "Oh,let me help.Can I rub itout for you?" Instead I beg for him to rub a sore muscle and I feel bad because he is so put off by it. I have asked him 3 days in a row to help me with sore calf muscles and every day he has said no.

I feel so weird when I go to massage therapy (once every two months or so) because I can pay for a more loving, restorative touch than what I get at home. When my husband does finally agree to touch me, his attention is not on me at all. He rubsmy back or feet with one hand and the other hand and his attention is on his phone or computer. Half the time he doesn't answer me when I speak.

We have been in therapy together for two years and have basically come to the conclusion that we are parenting partners and not much more.

Maybe I just need love too much. Maybe I am just too insatiable and will never have enough no matter what.