I set some goals for myself for this year and one of those goals was to get a year no si under my belt. Looking back over at least the last 10 years, there has not been a time I was able to do that. Pretty sure it didn't really happen before that either. Here we are 11 days into the year and I almost want to give up fighting. the last 2 days have been pretty harsh. Thought I might come down a bit after seeing my therapist but instead, it made things significantly worse.

Thus far this evening I have spent some time with my kid and her friend, took him home and checked on his mother, cooked dinner, played games, attempted to chat more than once, watched some Dirty Jobs and now watching chopped. I have taken something to help me sleep but at this point it has not worked. So now I haev resorted to posting here just to keep my mind and hands busy for a couple minutes.

The part of me that set that goal for myself is really fighting to take are of myself. Another part of myself says that I made it through 11 days. That has to count for something. Which it does but it doesn't.

Tomorrow I have a super long meeting at work which will keep me busy for most of the day. I need to get from now till then. Then I will have to get through tomorrow evening. Suggestions, ideas, opinions, something? It is worth it to me to keep fighting but only barely.