Welcome! (((((Matthew))))) I'm really sorry for your pain. I love what lavieenrose writes here and I can't say it better than that. I really hope you will stick around here and that we can offer you some support. I hope you're getting some support in real life too (aside from meds). A good therapist?

Is there anything in particular you like doing? Such as a hobby? I hope there are one or two things that give you some pleasure. The internet can be a good way to connect with others who share similar interests. But I know that real life support is even more important and I'm really sorry you are lonely. I hope it helps a bit to spend time here.

Wishing you all the very best (((((Matthew))))