I think that sometimes a person feels more beaten down than another would feel under similar circumstances. It is not a conscience decision - some folks have a drier well of hope than others. If that well gets bone dry, then that person needs assistance with getting that well to saturate again. Sometimes life throws so many curve balls and yanks the rug out from under feet so fast and furious that it is difficult if not impossible for some people to notice that the well of hope is drying up. They don't notice until it is too late and the well is dry. That is when a person needs a helping hand to get a drink first. And then they need to learn how to saturate their own well and how to keep watch so that the well doesn't dry up again. And that is not so easy to learn once the curve balls and rug yanks start up again.

Everyone's well level is different. Perhaps what you perceive as someone who is able to motivate and help themselves is a person whose well is almost dry and they have noticed and are taking action. Perhaps what you perceive as a person who does not appear motiviated or who appears to be not trying to help themselves is looking at a dry well and never saw it coming.

Thats how I see it. Maybe this makes some sense for you.