That is all part of the diagnosis. You take medication and are fine and then begin to question why you take meds. You tell yourself things like "I am fine now, I don't need these anymore". But once you go off them it all goes crashing down and it happens so fast you don't realize what is happening so you can go back on your meds in time to catch it from hitting rock bottom. I have done this many times and going off my meds is never a good idea....but I do it anyway even though I know better. I wish I had the answer for you but I don't. I suffer just as you do