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peaches100 · Jan 12, 2011, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Peaches:

I understand about feeling invisible and unimportant. I sometimes shout to my H "I don't want to be invisible!"

You are NOT invisible though! You're nice and smart and considerate and a good person!!!

My Mom used to tell me I had to "cultivate" friendships. I didn't like hearing that. I think you have to put yourself in a place where friendships can develop, though. You have to be yourself but be willing to let people in a little. It's not that others don't care. People are more isolated these days. They aren't rejecting you; they just live in their own world and don't know you're reaching out. It's not "tooting your own horn"; it's more subtle.

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed and alone. You're not alone on PC.

Hi Rainbow,

It seems like what you say is correct, that i am going to have to cultivate friendships by being the first one to reach out. . .and also being willing to open up a bit, or let people in. I'm so closed off now, because of friends who have been damaging to me in the past. I know i don't trust easily now, not even close!! It's so sad too, because i used to be so trusting of nearly everyone. But it finally ended up biting me in the butt -- BIG TIME! Somehow i have to muster enough courage and motivation to try again. But even though i'm often lonely, it seems better to me than becoming close with someone who might betray me again. I seem bad at picking friends and don't really trust myself to pick people who will end up being supportive, kind, and accepting rather than judging and critical. I don't see the bad until it bites me. Then when they end up devastating me, I'm shocked and blindsided, because i didn't even see it coming.