you have the right to meet your needs the same as everyone else, do they care if them meeting their needs impacts on you??? no! so do not worry about others, you need to meet your own needs first inorder to be able to meet other peoples.
i guess you have at some point been trained firstaid, what were you tought about helping others??? you have to make sure you are safe first and only help if it does not put you in danger, and why?? because you will only end up being another casualty if you endanger yourself too! this is for a good reason, because you cant help others if you yourself get injured. take heed it is good advice. WELL DONE for having a nap, you should do it more often, schedule it in as top up time, you need to top up your energy just like you schedule in food during the day to top up your dietry needs.
codeine is addictive, so the doc has a point, she could be becoming addicted to it, there are other products she can be given which do not contain codeine. in Uk they tend to swap your meds around every so often to prevent addiction, so talk to her doctor, maybe that could help her. Until she has seen the neurologist it is hard to advise on what to let her get away with, just stick to your decision and let her know what you say is final. if your parener goes over your head then next time she asks you send her to her father, he will soon get fed up of always having to make the decisions surrounding her and change his pospective! actually thats not a bad idea, that way he is the one who will look bad in her eyes not you!!!
how old is your daughter?
ok so your husband did some cleaning yippeee!!!! it is ok to thank him or even tell him he did a good job, it won't hurt and shows him you appreciate his help. as for being indebited to him, make a point of showing him the fresh pile of clothes you just ironed or the newly made bed, or the lesson plan you come up with for sunday school each week or the xxx number of bags of shopping you just bought to feed your family with.....you certainly are not in debt to him just because he did a tiny fraction of the cleaning.
You are, (like i was), doing the job of three women, you are not superhuman, or an octopus (though i often think others thought i was). you are one women, it is ok to get the children to do tasks, in fact it is proven that children who do tasks regularly at home become more practicle and self sufficient as adults. ok so their standards are not the same as yours, sometimes you just have to compromise, ok if they do a really slap dash job of something it is only right they do it again until it is to your standard. have you thought of encouraging them to 'earn' their pocket money? it not only helps to share the chores out but teaches them the harder they work the more they have to spend, a good life lesson. if they don't do a reasonably decent job of something they dont get paid until it is done better...if they really try their hardest then a bonous can be given, just like a 'proper' job the money involved does not have to be much, i used this with my nanny kids, they got 10p for making their own bed, so if they did it each day at the end of the week they got 70p, hovering (for the older ones) earned them 50p, clearing the yard would get 50p, tidying their room would be 50p(not every day, the big tidy includingdusting!) puting away toys earned 10p taking the dog for a walk earded 20p so you see it is easy to get lots done realy cheaply(in fact for the same as you probably give them for doing nothing now!) it is amazing how willing to help they become once they realise there is money to be made!!! if your children are young reinforce that the money they 'earned' is for them to spend on things for themselves, eg candy, toys..etc older ones will suss this out themselves, but do not insist they save their earned money or all the hard work will be seen as having been done for nothing. it takes a long time for the understanding to develop enough to truly understand that your money is still there but you cant spend it, or that the more you put in the bank the bigger thing you can buy later. leftover money can be banked or saved if the child is of an age to understand where it has gone!
when i was young my mum would tell my stepfather who didnt work that we needed xy and z from the local shop, and the washing up needed doing, he would say ok no problem, once the door was shut he would make me do all the chores, i never go paid, when mum came back she would praise him for doing the chores, he would say thats ok it was nothing really, or it didnt take me long, never once did he say that infact he had not moved his but from the sofa all day or that i had done the chores. to this day i do not resent my mum forhaving left the chores in the first place, i do however resent my stepfather for taking the credit!!!! sometimes what your children see is different from what you think they see. yours see you work really hard, struggle to hold down a very difficult job (and teaching SEN children is extremely difficult i know, i did it for a while!), hold the family together, and support you partner in his job too, i wonder how they see him, really, not how you perceive they see him but how they really in their minds see him! you may not know for years to come, but i bet they will come back at some point in the future and say he did not give you the support he should have!
ok enough of my waffling!!!!!
well done again for taking a nap you deserved the nap and the praise from me for doing it as i know it is hard for you to put you first xxx