The experiences of a person's life are a cumulative part of who that person is. If my assessment of these experiences is unfavorable, then it is what it is and I wouldn't want to continue a relationship with that person. I wouldn't give a random "pardon" for a pattern of behavior. Nor would I randomly condemn a specific bad behavior (except for violence which, for me, is not acceptable and, personally, I would choose not to have a relationship with that person). I assess the totality of the person's past and decide whether this is compatible with my values. But certain red flags carry a heavy weight when I consider someone's experiences.