Quote:
Originally Posted by PT52
Hi, malapp1..it seems as if everyone here has addressed some of the practical steps your wife needs to take. The only thing I will add regarding treatment is your comment here regarding Prozac; having been the Prozac only route, I can tell you that it actually triggers manic phases: the alcohol and pot would likely have dulled that some.
What I'd really like to say is I hope you can find a way to, first, move past the "whys" that are not helping her needs now. Particularly the "why didn't she understand?" I can tell you why, but it's really best to let that one go; there is no answer and it's not helping either of you to focus on that.
Secondly, she will probably not be able to acknowledge anything until she's had treatment, and treatment starts with meds. They don't fix it, but they make treatment possible.
She will eventually be aware of all her actions, even the ones she might not remember will be addressed in therapy. And she will hate herself for it. As the one person that loves her the most, please, please find a way to not judge her. You said she feels like she's lost years of her life; help her hang on to the ones ahead by being an active participant in her treatment and forgiving her (and yourself) for what is in the past.
She is refusing treatment because she needs treatment..
sorry for sounding a bit touchy; I've been there. I denied it for a long time, too, with all the evidence right in front of me. I'm going to be 53 in a couple of weeks, and only admitted that I needed real help this past summer. So I know it can get better.
So, yeah, never allow a situation where anyone is in physical danger. But try to love her more than you hate the illness that she has.
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I am so lost, I just don't know what to do. Because she did not show up in court, the judge issued a warrant for her arrest. After she cost me my job, I asked for an injuction which was originally denied. After the District Attorney got involved, she sent me to victim assistance. In Florida, it is mandatory that the abused also get help. Because the pictures of what she did to me are so serious, the judge issued the injunction.
Now, I can't talk to her either. This is without doubt a hugh mess. I do not blame her for anything. I know it is a disease and I am probably as guilty as she is of denial. I love her and I knew she had problems when I met her. I really have no body to blame.
I was once in the hospital for 13 months. I had a serious car accident and broke everything. I was very lucky to live through it. My, now deceased, wife, stood by me all the way as I did through her cancer. I know it is easier to withdraw but I either can't or don't want to.
This is so painful, I can only emagine what she is going through. What I don't know is what does she feel, she is un-medicated and I am sure she is drinking and smoking dope with her son. Do you think she is still in a delusional state. I don't know if she wants to contact me and is scared to do so. I am absolutely over taken with the emotional "what if's."
The counselor told me that I can't help her. She said that this will just continue to repeat itself over and over again until she is medicated and in therapy. It sounds like everyone has givin up on her accept me and I am legally bound to not do anything. If and when she does come out of the delusions, I truely fear that she will do something to hurt herself.