Perna thanks for your input. In the past a fiber gallery/classroom, the city Rec. Dept., and a craft school were willing for me to teach. Each time, the horrible anxiety and self-doubt immediately set in and kept building. I started believing that I'm not talented enough, not calm, clear-thinking, sane enough for teaching (or for anything else, for that matter).

I know that I must face down those life-long fears that have made my life so small and dull, robbed me of richness. It's the same in the realm of friendship and romance. Fears tell me that I'm not good enough, smart enough, sane enough, that no one would be interested, that they already have enough friends. So, I'm the one who appears disinterested and I hang back. I'm getting off on a tangent here. I've vowed so many times to keep moving forward inspite of self-doubt, and then I buckle. I have to get up and try again. Nothing else to do, if I am ever to improve the quality of my life.