You actually aren't alone, you just don't like the company. You will always have you, you always know what you need to hear to make yourself feel better. You can choose to be first "number one" in your life. You have to be enough for yourself. To be honest if you ever do have a relationship even though you think you never will or whatever...if you do it wont turn out great if you don't love you. I think thats what you should talk to your therapist about, set that as a goal...your therapist knows how important it is to love and care for yourself and i think self esteem is the single hardest thing to gain, but when you have it.....it's worth the fight...because then you will never be alone...and the one thing that will be with you for the rest of your life...is actually...just you.