What you all say echoes loudly for me, too. The same overwhelming fears that have plagued me for a lifetime, a deep-seated belief that I cannot change, that the traumas, the past have forged the personality that I'm stuck with - scattered, forgetful, not learning and building upon, introverted and shy, low energy and lazy, terrible self-critical thoughts that will not shut up. And letting myself be swept along in the negativity, rather than be proactive and inserting some positive action into the moment. Changing beliefs and behaviors seems to involve practice practice practice. I resist and I'm lazy. I'm always wanting something quick and easy to fix the problem, rather than dedication to daily practice of techniques and tools. I'm also forgetting the tools a lot. And post-it notes turn to clutter.