Thanks for your understanding. It's nice to know I am not alone in this... I have lost count of the times I have messed with my meds... you'd think I'd learn! My friends just shake their heads at me... but they don't understand why I think its the right thing to do, why I need to do it, why I hate my meds even though they keep me alive... It's a constant battle to actually swallow them every morning and evening, I feel more in control if I say which ones to take and which ones not to take...

Fresia - sounds like a great idea... my pdoc constantly reminds me that I NEED my meds - he says to think back to my last major depression...