I'm BPII - I have hypomania (no delusions), but the depression is more severe. And like BlackPup said, it's a catch 22 - if you need meds, you don't think you need them; if you're on meds, you can easily convince yourself that you don't need them. There isn't a cut and dried answer to why or when someone decides they need help; each one is different. Just because she doesn't want help now doesn't mean that it won't change.
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Originally Posted by malapp1
I am so lost, I just don't know what to do. Because she did not show up in court, the judge issued a warrant for her arrest. After she cost me my job, I asked for an injuction which was originally denied. After the District Attorney got involved, she sent me to victim assistance. In Florida, it is mandatory that the abused also get help. Because the pictures of what she did to me are so serious, the judge issued the injunction.
Now, I can't talk to her either. This is without doubt a hugh mess. I do not blame her for anything. I know it is a disease and I am probably as guilty as she is of denial. I love her and I knew she had problems when I met her. I really have no body to blame.
I was once in the hospital for 13 months. I had a serious car accident and broke everything. I was very lucky to live through it. My, now deceased, wife, stood by me all the way as I did through her cancer. I know it is easier to withdraw but I either can't or don't want to.
This is so painful, I can only emagine what she is going through. What I don't know is what does she feel, she is un-medicated and I am sure she is drinking and smoking dope with her son. Do you think she is still in a delusional state. I don't know if she wants to contact me and is scared to do so. I am absolutely over taken with the emotional "what if's."
The counselor told me that I can't help her. She said that this will just continue to repeat itself over and over again until she is medicated and in therapy. It sounds like everyone has givin up on her accept me and I am legally bound to not do anything. If and when she does come out of the delusions, I truely fear that she will do something to hurt herself.
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The counselor is right. It's really hard to feel there is nothing you can do. And admitting that you can't help her is not giving up on her. Like being an alcoholic, it sometimes takes hitting rock bottom before someone will admit they need help. And the hardest thing to accept is that there is no guarantee that everything will work out. Maybe if she does have to spend time in the system, they will be able to get her the help she needs.
The what-ifs are tough, no doubt. But you have to take care of yourself first. The thing is, she's an adult; even ill, she will still have to accept the consequences of her actions and make her own choices. And it's clear that you love her very, very much; maybe it's a good thing for now that you can't talk to her. Maybe it will give you both a chance to heal.
Hope that helps.
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