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Jan 13, 2011, 08:12 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Posts: 61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackPup
The reason I take meds if that the depression is so bad that I can't live without them.
The reasons why I regularly stop taking them are:
For me the highs are great cos I have BPII so I get less of the nasties with the highs
It can really be hard to let go of the good times and alot of BPers find that they lose some of their creativity on meds
the meds often have horrible side effects: weight gain, nausea, drowsey, dull, difficulty concentrating....
It is also a symptom of the disease to believe that you don't need meds or that they are causing the problems...
Hope this helps you understand... and your not prying  |
As I read these posts, I sit and wonder just how difficult it must be to keep an inventory of the emotions felt. I think I am starting to understand at least part of this. It is not easy to understand. In a way, I feel like I have been married to a ghost. That ghost being her disease. What I really wonder is, was there really any love there or was I just part of the psychosis.
You are able to recognize the signs of the severe emotional swings. So, you take your medication and fight your way through. Hence the terms “keep on swimming.” Kudos to you for doing so, I know that all I have done is sit here and play the part of a victim. I guess that is just part of the whole mess the disease can cause. Trying to keep a clear perspective is hard. Those of us who claim victim status are a victim of the disease not their partner.
Separation of what is real and what is not is as difficult for me as it must be for those who suffer from the delusions. I am really worried that I am about to give up. I am starting to feel that way. Part of me wants to get on a plane and go find her. Another part just keep’s saying let her go.
I took some of the personality test available. I guess in one sense, I am looking for something that I did to make this happen. All I really found out is that I am not a quitter and that probably explains why I don’t want to give up.
Oh my, this is really a tough spot for all of us.
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