welcome to pc, mk. i'm very glad u found us. this forum is an indredible forum-lots of support and good suggestions. as i've met ppl here many have found sobriety. it is so rewarding to see ppl get sober. i went to AA and discovered new friends, ppl like me. those friends are still in my life even tho i've moved 3 times in 20 years!!! and i cant express how dear they are to me. most of my in real life friends are members of AA. i encourage you to give AA a go. you do not have to do this alone. i don't know if your friends decide to try it, but it sounds to me that you have the willingness to stop drinking. that is one of the first steps on a journey of sober living. it's certainly not a drab life for me. once i got sober absolutely things got better...beyond anything i could have imagined. i wish for you to find that way of life too. you will never regret it. please keep us posted. we're here for you and if you have question let us know. we can share with you our experience, strength and hope.