I'm a bit confused. Has your wife been in a full blown manic episode since you've met her? If that isn't the case and you have been with her for a length of time she will not be in a bipolar episode continuously. When unmedicated the episodes can last longer for some, but for some of us (myself included) there are times of stability, depression and hypomania. They can all be at varying degrees, but I have always been able to feel love for someone (prior to being diagnosed and now diagnosed and on medication). For me being on medication has made the episodes even shorter and less severe.

I would suggest seeing a therapist. You have gone through a traumatic episode and may benefit from speaking to a mental health professional about it. The therapist may also have some suggestions on how you can support your wife while still maintaining boundaries.