Ygrec, I'm intensely sorry to hear of your myriad difficulties. I wish there was something more than offering you support and sympathy that I could do; you have been so very helpful, kind, and empathetic to me in my times of crisis and woe, and I appreciate that very much, especially as I'm still in them. Your words and good deeds resonate with me and help keep me going, please believe me.

Would a little downtime from your wife help at all? By that I only mean a day or two so perspective may be restored on all fronts. I've often been the more hot-tempered one with my boyfriends, but the shoe was once on the other foot, which was jarring and educational for me. At times, it was like watching something I'd scripted from my past interactions, with some of my exact reactions and words, except it had the more tangible and vastly annoying properties of happening in real time and being directed right at me.

In those instances, I stepped back from him, whether it was going into another room or leaving the house entirely. It worked many times. I know you are dealing with a more firmly entrenched situation than what I have, and I can tell you feel you are out of options.

Please listen to what yellowted and silver_queen have said--you must stick this out. I've only known you a short time, yet I have a lot of respect for you and gratitude for the interactions I've had with you. I have no doubt you are an asset well beyond your good words and solid intent here at PC.

All the best to you, Ygrec.